Last Sunday, the local soccer league had it’s championship game at SDK stadium. Hubentut Fortuna squared off against Centro Barber to decide which team gets the bragging rights for the coming year. I went to cover the game for work and while I was there, I noticed and experienced quite a number of things as usual….

The kick-off will never go smooth
I went to a game a few weeks ago and it started late. We went to this other play-off game and found out while already in the stadium that it was moved to another time. Sadly, this is how things usually work on Curacao. If an event is scheduled at a certain time, you can be damn sure that it starts about an hour later. Om Sunday, the final was scheduled at 6 o’ clock in the afternoon. I arrived at 5:50, expecting the usual late kick-off. Turns out that a lot of people had the same idea, which meant that the ticket lines were depressingly crazy. At 6 o’ clock I was still in line, with what appeared to be 34598453729978520 people in front of me. And yes, wouldn’t you know it… KICK-OFF, RIGHT ON TIME! The one time that it goes according to schedule is the time that I’m stuck in a line that is not moving. F my life…

Someone was scalping tickets
This is a very normal occurrence in other countries – and maybe here as well – but I’ve never been approached by a scalper. Until now that is. While I was standing in line for what seemed to be 8 hours, a shady looking fellow approaches me and asks me how many tickets I need. I tell him that I need two and he offers to sell them to me for 10 guilders a piece.

Now this is where things get interesting. The tickets were going at 12.50 a piece, so the dude was selling me them below their value. Usually scalpers will ask you for a higher price, so that definitely messed with my mind. Either that guy was as dumb as a hammer, or he really wanted to get rid of those tickets or he thought I was cool and wanted me to have them at a reasonable price. I’m leading towards option number 3 because I’m as cool as the Fonz..

Wife: * does face palm *
Wife: “The only time you are cool is when you are standing in front of the air conditioning….”
Dave: “Your just jealous because I have a leather jacket.”
Dave: * does pose like Fonzie * * hits juke box * * breaks wrist *

Either way, my mind was racing. Are these tickets legit? Is he going to get mad at me if I say no? What if he brutally stabs me in the kidney? What if I reach for my wallet and he thinks that I’m reaching for a weapon and he shoots me? Will I be able to disarm him? What if he’s a master in the martial arts? I decided to go for it and told him that I had 50 guilders. Turns out he didn’t have enough change and he ended up selling the tickets to this other dude. A scary yet tame adventure ended quickly and painlessly…but I was still standing in line!

Locals have no patience
Locals have this thing where they think that every pass needs to be perfect and that every chance needs to be converted into a goal. The attacker could be surrounded by four defenders and have an impossible angle, but the entire stadium expects him to score. If he doesn’t, someone will threaten him and his family.

I’m from Curacao and I guess I do the same thing when I watch Ajax or the Dutch national team play. Every pass needs to be crisp and every shot needs to go in, regardless of the situation. And now that I’ve seen other people do it, I realize how utterly annoying it is for the people who are watching the game with you. So yeah, if you happen to watch a soccer game with me in the future and I start to scream because a corner kick wasn’t perfectly taken, please punch me in the forehead.

Our national stadium is horrible
If you’ve been to SDK recently, you know what I’m talking about. You’re nice and close to the field, but everything else is horrible. It’s dirty, it’s old, it’s decrypt and does not have comfortable seating (outside of the press and VIP areas). Sitting on that concrete is as pleasant as getting run over by a car. And don’t get me started on the ants, the restrooms and the concessions area that easily gets overwhelmed when it’s a little crowded. Combine this with the drunk and angry fans that were shouting obscenities all game long – in the presence of many toddlers and small children – and you get a pretty memorable experience. If you’re lucky, a fight may break out on the field or someone may verbally or physically threaten a referee.

Hubentut ended up winning by the score of 1-0. To say that the Barber fans were upset is an understatement. The season will start again in a few months and I’ll probably be in SDK to cover the games. I’m intrigued and terrified at the same time….

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