A couple of days ago, my wife asked me what we are going to do during the summer months. Summer is a magical time, where you either go on vacation or do gratuitous amounts of fun stuff like barbecues, swimming, camping, fishing or combing squirrels.

Actually, summer used to be a magical time because these awesome activities were only possible years ago when I was still in school. Being in school meant having an official “summer vacation” and that meant that I had the time to comb as many squirrels as I wanted. Now it’s totally different. I work 43582349 hours a week and as a result, I don’t even have no time for things like showering, nutrition, exercise or sleeping, let alone for the cool stuff.

Luckily, I do have a bunch of vacation days that I can use and with that in mind, the wife and I started planning our summer.

Wife: “It would be nice if you actually went out with me every so now and then.”
Dave: “Excuse me if I like to spend my nights engaging in witty conversations with Oxford professors.”
Wife: “You spend your nights watching Animal Planet.”
Dave: That’s because penguins are awesome!”
Wife: “What would happen if you ever see a penguin in front of you?”
Dave: “I would adopt it!”
Dave: * rips shirt *
Dave: * starts talking fluent Korean *
Dave: * has emotional breakdown *

The wife made sure to mention that we should hit the beach a lot and I agree. When you live on a tropical island, you tend to take things like sun, sand and crystal clear waters for granted and when you do that, you need to be punched in the face. I mean, YOU’RE LIVING ON A TROPICAL ISLAND. ENJOY IT! That said, I think that she also wants me to work on my tan, but that’s impossible because I am a perfect physical specimen.

I followed by mentioning that I want to watch an unhealthy amount of sports during the coming months, including the local Chippie/Polar soccer tournament that will be held near the end of May. This is especially important because my favorite team (Ajax Amsterdam) will be participating. The big stars won’t be coming to Curacao, but it’s still Ajax and I’ll still be foaming from the mouth. You could take 11 dead ducks and put them in Ajax jerseys and I will be rooting for them like a deranged lunatic, no questions asked. Sadly, the wife is a bit less enthusiastic with regard to that event….

Dave: “The Ajax games will be awesome! I’m going to pee my pants and get into hooligan fights!”
Wife: “You pee your pants when we watch the Discovery Channel.”
Dave: “ONLY WHEN THEY LOOK FOR GHOSTS!”

And while I may be going to the soccer tournament by myself, we did manage to settle on the other things that we’ll do during the coming months. We’ll hopefully continue restaurant hopping (because I am a world famous food critic), climb the Christoffelberg (because I have record breaking endurance), spend a weekend at Banda Bou, reverse field and spend a weekend in Breezes Hotel or Bonaire, hit some festivals and expos (Food Festival, EFEX etc.) hit some happy hours (my social skills are a thing of legend) and the most important one of all….. watch the World Cup!!

Dave: “I need a new orange shirt for when we watch Holland play during the World Cup.”
Wife: “I will watch with you, but there are some rules. No crying, no taunting, no picking fights with random strangers and no yelling at Dirk Kuyt.”
Dave: “I’M NEVER ALLOWED TO HAVE ANY FUN!”

But yeah, now that I have written about my supposedly fun filled summer, I probably jinxed it to the point where the squirrels will be combing me. Sigh…..

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